it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
