Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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