Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
