she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
