I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
