It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
