I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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