SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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