the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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