it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
