Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
