Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
