dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
