the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if only i could text you this smell
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
