im about as happy as oj after his trial
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
