could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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