So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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