If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
