Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
