i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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