i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am puke
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize
