I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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