brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
