Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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