I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
