Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
