Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
