we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
