Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
