i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
