things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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