I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
