this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
