I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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