she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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