hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He passed out mid-signature
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
