marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
