I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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