hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
