so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm too high and old for this...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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