I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How does one acquire holy water?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
