i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
