Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
its liver damage thursday
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
