is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
50% drunk capacity currently
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
