He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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