You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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