oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
