Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
