absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
