Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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