you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
