he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
